you sing the song of swarms (GlitterGLOG class: PRINCESS)

the princesses of yore

In the Days of Yore, the gentle voice -- the ability to speak to animals and to understand them in turn -- was understood among humans and mawas to be a manifestation of the divine right of kings. The gods had gifted their chosen few and their descendants the right to rule, and what clearer proof of this could there be than authority over beast as well as man?

And so kings and their heirs were accompanied always by beastly retainers. King Vokrem of Albalon famously kept an albino alligator at the feet of his throne. After a hunting expedition, he returned to court with the predator in tow and explained that he had intended to take a trophy of the beast, but it prostrated itself at his feet and he knew then that it was a gift sent to him by Prosperity.

There are no native alligators in Albalon. It died within the year, and then he mounted its head over his throne.

Anyway, about 150 years ago in Langshoka, stolen books from the library of House Yuga were copied and circulated, containing instructions on teaching the gentle voice. There was always suspicion that the royals had been lying, of course -- people are generally smart -- but this outright confirmed it. The gentle voice was not an inborn, gods-given gift. The practice was demanding, but this magic could theoretically be learned by anybody, regardless of station. And so there were those who did. The mawas called their beast-whisperers pawang, and trusted them to ward off predators from their jungle homes.

When the humans of Albalon eventually discovered the same secret, the revolutionaries who had stolen the teachings hitherto reserved for the heirs defiantly branded themselves the princesses, heedless of gender. They sent birds and rodents into the castles to harass their inhabitants, until enough of them were caught and killed that the survivors quietly disbanded.

 

the princesses of today

 “Go get mommy a chai, okay, Bingus?”

Starting Equipment: 

-frippery (not armor) (1 slot);

-casual wear (light armor) (1 slot);

-crown (improvised light sharp) OR rhinestone scepter (improvised medium blunt) (1 slot);

-a walkman (1 slot);

-1 ration worth of bougie-ass gimmicky trendy food (1 slot);

-3 rations worth of animal feed (don’t eat this) (3 slots)

Frippery: Any outfit of sufficiently pointless ostentation that is impractical for combat scenarios. Functional armor can’t count as Frippery. Some of your class powers depend on you wearing frippery.

Level 1: royal retainer, gentle voice, primp and preen

Level 2: damsel in distress, +another retainer and another gentle voice

Level 3: royal summons, +another retainer and another gentle voice

Level 4: royal treatment, +another retainer and another gentle voice

Royal Retainer: You are accompanied by a relatively docile animal (like a songbird, a doe or a chameleon, for example). It thinks of you as a trusted friend and is eager to follow your suggestions, but it will run away for the rest of the day if it takes too much damage. Whenever you gain a princess level, you may select another relatively docile beast that is sufficiently different from your other royal retainers.

Gentle Voice: You can speak to certain beasts and understand them in turn. Beasts do not think like sapient creatures and aren’t likely to care about or be able to tell you about much outside their beastly purview, but they like princesses and typically will at least hear you out. You can always speak to beasts sufficiently similar to your royal retainers, and also learn to speak with an additional category of animal every level.

The table decides what counts as an animal “category”, but some examples include “frogs and toads”, “river fish”, “boneless fish”, “bees, ants, wasps” or “social insects.”

Primp and Preen: If you are wearing Frippery and out of combat or danger, you may spend a short while to become Immaculate. While Immaculate, you look as composed and put-together as possible under the circumstances, and intelligent creatures must Save to target you. You cease to be Immaculate the first time you take damage.

Damsel in Distress: (Loud) If you’re wearing Frippery, you can swoon and call for help to redirect an incoming attack to an adjacent ally who would be a valid target, who then rolls defense against this attack with damage resistance equal to your SMOOTH. 

Royal Summons: (Loud) Once per scene, you can issue a royal summons with your gentle voice and attract a more-or-less friendly beast of a type that lives nearby. You do not get to choose what type of animal it is, and it can be a somewhat more dangerous animal than your retainers are allowed to be.

Royal Treatments: At level four, you may select an upgrade to one of your existing abilities.

Royal Retainer becomes King Among Beasts: You may select a significantly more rowdy and dangerous beast as an additional royal retainer, such as a walrus, a moose, or a fucking dinosaur. This animal is absolutely willing to throw down the moment you give the signal. Like a normal retainer, it will flee if it would be reduced to zero Guard, and return to you the next day.

Gentle Voice becomes Tongue of the Trees and Tides: You may speak to any beast, and can perfectly imitate the sound of any of your retainers and one animal from each previous gentle voice. 

Primp and Preen becomes Demanding Presence: While you are Immaculate, you gain a +2 bonus to the goal for intimidating, browbeating, diplomating, and otherwise telling people what to do. The goal to target you when Immaculate also decreases by 2.

Damsel in Distress becomes Kill for Me: In addition to its normal use, you may once per scene command an ally to make an preemptive counterstrike against an enemy that intends to attack you. If your ally can see and hear the enemy, before the enemy is able to move into position your ally moves and makes a standard attack against the target adding your SMOOTH as a damage bonus. If Kill for Me connects, the enemy’s turn is canceled.

 

Royal Summons becomes Swarmsong: When you issue a royal summons, you may instead summon an auditorium of animals to wash over your foes, either dealing 5d4 Sharp and Wet damage to all targets you designate, or removing a single character from the scene, and causing other miscellaneous carnage.

The GM may decide that local animals deal different damage types, like Creepy if there are a lot of poison animals.

 

carpenters

 In two hours, Ersa McMalin retires from her house party to pen a letter to the lord-supplyman of Freeport, La Royce.
 
In two months, a sinkhole opens on a busy street in East Eldon, killing four.

In two years, the Sagacius sails into port on fire. In two years and twenty minutes, an explosion levels the city of Fyrstrond.
 
The Carpenters have known this for centuries. An oracular splinter-sect, they broke from their vows of inaction to rudder Fate with violence.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Carpenters.

Yours is a Society of assassin-seers.

You are expected to follow orders, and to keep your fucking mouth shut.

If the mission calls for it, you are expected to self-terminate.

Amor fati.
- Γ -

SKILLS - CANTRIPS
Ballistics - You deal +1d6 damage with guns. If you hear a gunshot, you know the shooter’s exact position, intended target, and to-Hit.
Toxicology - You deal +1d6 damage with poisons. You can use a poison as its antidote, and vice versa.
Mechanisms - You deal +1d6 damage with contraptions. When you successfully sabotage a mechanism, you choose when and how it will fail.
Driving - You deal +1d6 damage with your car. No one can mess with your car if you aren’t in it, and you can park it anywhere without consequences.
Blacksmithing - You deal +1d6 damage with giant saw blades. With a dedicated workshop, you may combine two weapons into a single transforming trick weapon.
Tattoo Artistry - You deal +1d6 damage with needles. Once, you may reveal one of your tattoos to be a (somewhat esoteric) map of the dungeon you are currently in.
Meteorology - You deal +1d6 damage with lightning. When you host a council, you may change the weather at will.
Eschatology - You always know when the next disaster will strike the location you are standing. You have a vague sense of its magnitude, but not its nature.

At B template, you know the rite of billhooks, by which an assassin prunes their target's Fate until only doom remains. You receive a list of three tasks; once completed, the next attack you make against your target is a critical strike. 

At C template, you know exactly how you will die. You cannot die any other way. The exception is poison, which somehow trumps Fate.

league

 On his death bed, the notorious pirate Roger D. Longadder said this:
   "I leave it all to you three- my treasure, my gold, the winds and the tides. All this world has to offer awaits you on the seventh sea."
 
Immediately, sailing coalitions waged bloody war for Longadder's treasure, turning the sea chum-red. History remembers Longadder as the liar who stoked the decade-long pirate wars.
 
But Longadder's treasure is real - realer than you or I. A stray thingamabob, separated from his hoard and washed up on a distant shore, tugs at the world like cheap cloth. In rare cases, it rips right thru.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Independent League of Voyager-Patriots.

Yours is a Society of swashbucklers.

You will be judged by the tallness of your tales and the cut of your jib. You are not expected to get along with anyone.

Not all pirates are members of the League; you are expected to put them in their place.

Sic semper nautae.

- ⟴ -

SKILLS - CANTRIPS
Sailing - You can change the wind’s direction with a song and a successful reaction roll. On a failure, the wind turns against you instead.
Drinking - You are loved by the North wind. You can accurately identify special properties of beverages by taste.
Stunting - You are loved by the South wind. When you swing (or fall) screaming into combat, your foes check morale.
Singing - You are loved by the West wind. When you burst into song, NPCs take it in stride. If it seems appropriate, they may join in.
Ropes - You are loved by the East wind. You can untie knots with a whistle.,
Cartography - You can zoom in on maps. If you point at any part of any map, the GM must assign it an accurate (and hopefully cool) epithet.
Ventriloquism - When you throw your voice into an object, it moves appropriately.,
Camaraderie - Choose or invent a minor NPC to be your first mate. They trust you absolutely. They would die for you.

At B template, you know the rite of going anywhere, by which one safeguards a vessel. As part of the rite, a blood sigil is painted on the ship. So long as the sigil remains unbroken, the ship can sail any sea. This is how Longadder navigated the molten sea of Hell.

If you paint the sigil on your body, you can swim in any sea unharmed. This is how Longadder survived his first excursion to the underworld.

At C template, you can ride the wind. This launches you 500ft into the air per the current wind direction. If the wind likes you, you’ll land safely on your feet.

order

To become another is to magnify a secret part of oneself. The Order studies the hundred secret selves - roles, stock characters, destinies - and invokes them in ritualized theatre.
 
Each of the secret selves can be aroused with costumes, accents, turns-of-phrases. For the Lady-beyond-death, the costume is a long red wig and massive false breasts.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Comprehensive Order of Welcome Characters.

Yours is a Society of actors and playwrights.

You are expected to support the arts, and to be cordial with your fellows. You may be asked to secure funding for auspicious productions, or the skull of a relative. You may be asked to donate blood (yours or another's).

When you die, you are expected to give away your body to the Order. It will then be secretly entombed, such that you may join Her in the Palace-beyond-death.

In theatro ludus.

- ᙡ -

SKILLS - CANTRIPS

• History - You may ask one question of a skull or dead body.
  • If you are related to them, you may ask another.
  • If you know their true name, they cannot lie to you.
  You must test CHA to do this again before the next full moon.
• Seduction - You may ask Her questions about sex. You can keep someone engaged in conversation with you for an hour to the exclusion of all else.
• Swordplay - You may ask Her questions about war. When a fight breaks out, you can draw a sword from anywhere in the room as if it had been on your hip the whole time.
• Disguise - You may ask Her questions about drama. In a crowded scene, if your exact position hasn't been established yet, you can declare that any generic NPC was actually you in disguise.
• Couture - You may ask Her questions about art. Fancy clothes give you a +2 AC bonus, plus an additional +2 AC for every 100g spent on the outfit, up to twice your level.
• Statecraft - You may ask Her questions about politics. When you speak, all listeners must Save or be silent for the duration of your speech. If they are fighting, they must do so quietly.
• Parapsychology - You may ask Her questions about magic. So long as you are not disliked by the local ghosts, you may request the assistance of a spectral hand. It can move light objects slowly and is not strong enough to deal damage.
• Genealogy - You may ask Her questions about family. You are related to whoever you need to be related to, however distantly. All family heirlooms technically belong to you, and you could show up at any family reunion or reading of the will.

At B template, you also learn the rite of worldly possession, by which one summons a daemon. You or another can serve as the host, and there is a 5-in-6 chance (rolled secretly) that the daemon overpowers the host, reduced by 1-in-6 for each of the following:

    The host wears an appropriate costume.
    The host has the daemon's preferred blood type.
    The host imbibes a bowl of the daemon's preferred blood type.
    The host is particularly inbred (+3 or more). 

At C template, you can invite Her into your body. She has a voice like thunder, +8 to-Hit, and cannot be silenced, spoken over, interrupted, drowned out, suffocated, or harmed by swords.

committee

When the wind blows, the City speaks. Thru coiling stone streets, from the mouths of gargoyles, it whispers; the Committee listens, and then they build. 
 
Only the Committee may permit new developments; unauthorized constructions are torn down, or fall in on themselves, struck down by the City itself. Seen from above, the City streets spell a message no one can read.
 
Under their rule, the City prospers. Two wars, a falling star, and Fate herself could not yoke its thundering economy.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Eldon Planning Committee.

Yours is a Society of urban planners.

You are expected to support the arts, and to be cordial with your fellows. You are expected to protect the City from harm; you have no such obligations to its people.

Exspiravit interra.

- Θ -

SKILLS - CANTRIPS

• Architecture - You can always find the stairs. You know exactly which walls/beams to collapse in order to bring down the ceiling.
• Driving - You can always find your car. No one can mess with your car if you aren’t in it, and you can park it anywhere without consequences.
• Dowsing - You can always find water. You can use your hand as a metal detector.
• Logistics - You can always find high ground. You muster twice the men you paid for.
• Gravedigging - You can always find a grave. You can dig a coffin-sized hole in 10 minutes, regardless of weather or soil condition.
• Parapsychology - You can always find a ghost. So long as you are not disliked by the local ghosts, you may request the assistance of a spectral hand. It can move light objects slowly and is not strong enough to deal damage.
• Anatomy - You can always find a vein. Given an unaware subject with a comprehensible anatomy, you can stun them with a pinch, chop, or jab to the pressure points.
• Mathematics - You can always find 𝑥. You can estimate distance, weight, and time with unsettling accuracy.

At B template, you know the rite of open doors, by which one fills a house with ghosts. After three months of rearranging, the house can be considered haunted: doors will lock when unattended, chimneys will howl, and cold spots will appear throughout the demense. 

At C template, you always know exactly how many secret rooms, doors, and passageways are on the current floor.

club

Fashionable ladies are never seen without their purebred pets: their maned dachshundober mixes, their superior piebald pigeons, their southern royal half-clown crocodiles.
The Club is the hidden epicenter of all kennel clubs. They monitor and maintain the integrity of all purebred lines.
They also run the pigeon post, as their purebred postal pigeons are the most reliable by far.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Dovecote Transom Club.

Yours is a Society of dog breeders (and pigeon breeders, and crocodile breeders, etc, etc).

You are expected to support the sciences, and to be cordial with your fellows. You may be asked to make introductions between members of high society. You may be asked to collect blood samples.

The Society will select your spouse. If you are already married, the Society will select one or more extramarital partners.

Ubi stirpis ibi patria.

- ꗚ -

SKILLS - CANTRIPS

• Wrestling - Your purebreds get +2 Size. You can challenge an animal to a physical contest on its terms, and it will graciously accept.
• Sleight of Hand - Your purebreds get +2 Grace. You can pass objects from one hand to the other, ignoring plausibility.
• Cuisine - Your purebreds get +2 Guts. If you lose a tooth, it grows back within the hour.
• Political Theory - Your purebreds get +2 Brains. You can cause significant unrest among the lower classes with an hour and a soapbox. Make a reaction roll to direct their ire.
• Law - Your purebreds get +2 Nerves. No jury would convict you.
• Gambling - Your purebreds get +2 Fate. When you succeed a d20 roll, you can go double or nothing. Roll again; success is a critical success, failure is a fumble.
• Heraldry - Your purebreds get +2 Character. Your personal heraldry incites fear in any fighting force you’ve previously defeated.
• Theft - Your purebreds get +2 Sneak. You have +3 Inventory Slots. Items in those slots cannot be found unless you want them to be found.

At B template, you know the rite of the outer cross, by which one creates a chimera. By feeding one lesser beast (henceforth "the recipient") the blood of another (henceforth "the donor"), the recipient manifests one or more physical traits of the donor at random. With your guidance, a dog may sprout ram's horns, and a lamb may grow saber teeth.

This rite takes a month. 

At C template, you can become a chimera, per the rite of the outer cross. Whatever you become, it will be better than being human. 

lodge

It is not in the lion's nature to explain herself.

If you are reading this, you are a member of The Bosky Lodge.

Yours is a Society of woodsmen.

You will be judged by your self-sufficiency and by your hunting record.

At Society meetings, you must wear a mask and bear a sacrificial name: Hound, Crocodile, and so on. No other names may be spoken.

You are not permitted a burial: when you die, your body will be spirited away.

- Ꙙ -

• SKILLS - CANTRIPS
• Theft - You are invisible to birds. You have +3 Inventory Slots. Items in those slots cannot be found unless you want them to be found.
• Hunting - You are invisible to livestock. Predators recognize you as one of them: wolves answer when you howl, lions avoid where you sleep, and vampires can’t bite your subordinates without your consent.
• Trapmaking - You are invisible to spiders. When one of your traps goes off, you know.
• Swimming - You are invisible to crocodiles. You can fight in water as well as on land.
• Climbing - You are invisible to monkeys. You can use both hands freely while climbing if you spend a round bracing yourself.
• Cryptography - You are invisible to snakes. Your secret codes are incomprehensible to anyone you haven't personally taught them to.
• Escape Artistry - You are invisible to octopodes. When you shake someone’s hand, any handcuffs, ropes, or other restraints that were on you are now on them instead.
• Wilderness Survival - You are invisible to horses. You can go a week without food, water, or rest.

[In this context, invisibility means you won't be noticed until someone or something draws attention to you.]

At B template, you know the rite of wolfing, by which one assumes a bestial guise. It takes three days to make a costume from an appropriately large pelt. The illusion is broken only by fire-light.

At C template, you can trade names with another willing person. Titles and epithets count as names. Everyone else retroactively accepts the new names.