d4 bags that are better than bag of holding

Thank you to grace from 400 independent bathrooms (<3) for helping me with this list; check out d4 bags worse than bag of holding over there.

1. Hallowed Vessel: This handheld plastic bucket, printed to resemble a turnip carved to resemble a face, automatically casts Turn Halloween with a mischievous giggle when its holder is attacked by a Halloween-type monster. It consumes approximately a big handful's worth of candy to do so, and will not deign to act unless it contains candy to consume in this way. 8 slots, and it'll grumble unhappily if you put anything other than candy or toys in it.

Hallowed Vessels printed or painted to resemble specific Halloween monsters will Turn Halloweens of that type without requiring payment.

2. Bag of Sharing: The contents of this 18 slot backpack are shared with a specific, random other Bag of Sharing somewhere in the world. You have access to all of its contents, and may freely withdraw or deposit anything within the bag, every other day; when it isn't your turn, your counterparts may do the same, and your bag cannot be opened. Cutting it open in this state simply renders your copy empty and inert and theirs into a normal bag. Abusing your bag will probably disincentivize your counterparts from placing anything nice in there, though it's certainly possible they might try and game it too. 

3. BaazR™ Subscription Bag: Using your BaazR™ Subscription Bag is Easy! Simply place any items you like within the Subscription Bag's 8 slots, then provide it with your billing information. Thereafter, anytime you deplete or otherwise lose any of those items, you'll find them conveniently replenished within your BaazR™ Subscription Bag. (You will be automatically billed the approximate market price of any item replenished in this manner.)

If, by some unimaginable calamity, you should ever be regrettably compelled to cancel one of your BaazR™ subscriptions, simply return the item you wish to stop receiving convenient instant refills on to the location from which you purchased it. Then, mail proof of your returns to the peak of any mountain before next sundown. You will receive a confirmation letter via conjured dove within 1d6 business days. Should you provide your assent to this letter and burn it over a fire containing the bones of an animal you've personally killed, your BaazR™ subscription will be cancelled in a further 1d6 business days, whereupon you will stop receiving the convenient instant refills we have so graciously provided you until you turned your back on us, you harlot. But we are known for our mercy and our grace as well as for having served customers throughout Laurentia for 43 years. The day wisdom finds you, the day you finally realize that you have always needed us, we'll let you back into the fold without complaint; we're here for you. All we'll need when that day comes -- and it will come -- is your credit card information, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. 

This process must be repeated for each item you wish to cancel your refills for. 

4. The Mailman's Flail: A 14 slot canvas messenger bag sturdy enough to be swung around by the strap as a medium blunt melee weapon. Upon a successful attack using this weapon against a creature to which a number of postage stamps equal to or greater than its hit dice have been applied, declare a valid mailing address. The creature will be instantly spirited to the front door (or closest approximation thereof) at the spoken address. The stamps must have been purchased or acquired from a recognized postal authority. In most dangerous circumstances, it takes 2 action points to apply a postage stamp.

one errant twitch (GlitterGLOG class: HERMIT)

HERMIT

 

Starting Equipment:

    - a handblaster -- choose one element for its damage type (1 slot)

    - military surplus jacket (medium armor) (2 slots) 

    - one of your IEDs (see below) (1 slot)

    - half a spool of copper wire (1 slot)

    - 3 rations of homemade pemmican (3 slots)

Failed Career: choose one -- assembly line worker; retail associate; sci-fi author

 

Level 1: off the grid, pipe dreams

Level 2: deadeye, the contraption

Level 3: mine crafter

Level 4: pipeline

 

Off the Grid: You've learned to channel your excess Glitter into the batteries you're always carrying, giving you a store of reserve energy for your blasters. Recharging a blaster with these batteries is a one-point action.

You have a maximum number of reserve charges equal to 5x[HERMIT LEVEL], replenishing every time you rest.

 

Pipe Dreams: You compulsively create an improvised explosive device every time you rest, and cannot derive any benefits from rest unless you do. You fashion these bombs in a fugue state from assorted garbage, so they cost nothing to produce but good luck explaining how you did it.

 

When thrown as a two-point action, your IEDs deal 1d6+2 ARTIFICE damage to a target within 5 squares as well as anyone adjacent to them. You can safely carry one IED on your person, but holding onto even two of them runs a 1-in-20 risk that every IED you're carrying detonates at once when you take any physical damage. The chance of such a detonation doubles for every additional IED on your person, up to 100% at six or more bombs.

 

 

Deadeye: Yours are the lightless eyes of a killer. If the maximum damage from a single shot with a blaster you're holding would reduce a creature to zero HP, you and they both know it when you look at them, and they'll react accordingly. If your eyes are obscured, only you know when this happens.

 

The Contraption: Your incessant tinkering has finally borne fruit in the form of a makeshift blaster of your own design. Choose what kind of blaster (handblaster, jitterblaster, rattleblaster, railer or boomstick) you've made when you gain this ability, and choose two elements for its damage type. You may change your Contraption's blaster type and/or elements while resting by irreparably dismantling other blasters with those traits, including bazingas.

 

Nobody but you understands how to fire your Contraption. It cannot recharge under its own power and must be charged with your batteries from Off the Grid. It is customary to name blasters after songs.

Mine Crafter: You may deploy your IEDs as mines on an adjacent square instead of throwing them. IEDs deployed in this manner detonate for 1d8+2 ARTIFICE damage on their square and adjacent when stepped on, shot, or otherwise activated with sufficient force.

 

Pipeline: You create an additional 1d6+1 IEDs every time you rest. 

addendum to my previous post, regarding chronicles of riddick

 oops

my review of chronicles of riddick: pitch black

my first sincere and meaningful engagement with riddick ever; my understanding had been and largely remains shallow and osmosed. the parts of this film that i could process, back when i had a capacity for higher thought, were interesting and tense. i mistakenly thought the male child was an interesting and nuanced adult lesbian at first. i liked the analog ass spaceship and the scary grabber animals. i didnt like how they killed like all the characters off first, it was frankly not very woke of riddick if i am going to be allowed to speak frankly around here. anyway the rest of the movie has already been lost to me because it takes priority that i am presently curled up like a beetle grub on my freaking ex wife/best friend's couch and lap whilst texting my lovely gf. i like the parts with riddick vision.